


how to manage

by mangothief



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 3k of me exposing myself as a manager stan, Datekougyou | Date Tech, Gen, datekou gen is my favorite genre of literature, slight matsuhana because i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-26 02:47:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10777893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangothief/pseuds/mangothief
Summary: “I just want all of you to know,” Nametsu Mai announced from her position behind the cafeteria door, “that while I admit to signing up for this, I didn’t sign up forthis.”She narrowly dodged what appeared to be a still-frozen microwave waffle used as a frisbee. A squawk behind her let her know that Koganegawa had been hit. She was comfortable with that.Or, the true strength of Miyagi volleyball’s managers is revealed.





	1. Step 1 - Compromise (How to Achieve Mutual Goals)

**Author's Note:**

> i took some liberty with the timing because i wanted yachi and moniwa to both be at this training camp, but if you pretend that this is moniwa’s last experience with his team and yachi’s first, this will be even more enjoyable. so this is set between the interhigh and tokyo training camp

“I just want all of you to know,” Nametsu Mai announced from her position behind the cafeteria door, “that while I admit to signing up for this, I didn’t sign up for _this._ ”

She narrowly dodged what appeared to be a still-frozen microwave waffle used as a frisbee. A squawk behind her let her know that Koganegawa had been hit. She was comfortable with that.

“Before we proceed, I’m going to need clarification from all of you that you heard what I just said,” she continued while using a tray to block a head of lettuce from striking Sakunami. There was a chance he could receive it, but there was also a chance that he would get knocked over after getting hit by something bigger than him so she erred on the side of safety. “Nod once if you heard me and agree, step into the range of my tray if you heard me and disagree.”

Mai received no nods, but no one moved close enough for her to get a good whack in so she assumed agreement.

“Alright, here’s the plan,” she motioned to the members of Datekou’s pride and joy, the boys’ volleyball team, who weren’t currently cowering under lunch tables or using food as tools of war. “I’m going to approach the center of the cafeteria waving this napkin over my head. The other teams have their heads shoved too far into the lunch meat to understand what’s going on, but their managers will be expecting me and they’ll meet me in the middle. While we arrange a truce, I need Obara and Saku-kun to cover me - yes, Sakunami, I know Karasuno’s ace’s hands are bigger than you, but Koganegawa is down. 

“If negotiations go south, I’ll try to rescue Aone. _Futakuchi_ -” she couldn’t prevent her spite from altering her tone “-can find his own way home.”

Mai clapped her hands together. “With any luck, we’ll all make it out of this alive, with the exception of Futakuchi. It’s been an honor managing you boys. With the exception of Futakuchi.”

As she moved to begin her trek across the cafeteria, she noticed a familiar head of curly black hair peeking cautiously around the door she had been hiding behind. The expression of horror that transitioned to resignation before settling on apathy was a little too familiar to her.

“Moniwa. Up a little earlier than usual, aren’t you? Did you want some breakfast?” Mai called out, picking up the frozen waffle from Koganegawa’s chest. 

“Good morning, Mai. I was just wondering what the source of the screaming was. Thought I’d check it out,” Moniwa’s face hinted at feelings of regret he was too young to have experienced. “I’m actually heading home now, though.”

Mai kept her face still. “With all due respect, Moniwa, it’s only the second day of the training camp.”

The only response she received was a “good luck!” yelled from the safety of the hallway.

Mai steeled herself again and raised the white napkin of surrender over her head. “Hold your fire!” she yelled, but as she predicted, Johzenji’s captain - _Terushima Yuuji #4 wing spiker 177.2 cm announces moves before acting on them allowing for easy blocks_ \- only screeched back, “ _You_ hold _your_ fire!” and continued to lob potatoes across the cafeteria. Stealth mode it was, then.

Darting around overturned tables and piles of food, Mai made her way to the center of the room. A fork whizzed past her ear, colliding with one of Johzenji’s potatoes in midair before it could hit her and pinning it to the cafeteria wall. Mai yelled “Nice kill, Obara!” over her shoulder as she continued through no-man’s land. 

A hand reached out and latched onto her ankle as she was leaping over a banana peel (she’s seen how stepping on one of those can end, those unassuming, treacherous _monsters_ ), almost tripping her. She glared down at the bushy eyebrows grasping her leg. _Matsukawa Issei #2 middle blocker 187.9 cm watch out for when he comes back to the court from the sidelines because he was watching you_ plays on repeat in the back of her mind. 

“Help...me...” Matsukawa grits out, releasing Mai’s ankle to clutch at his chest, rolling over from where he had been curled up under a lunch table. 

She gives him a quick onceover. “You were hit by applesauce.”

“It hurts...everywhere...”

“You’re laughing.”

“My real pain is on the inside.” 

“Get away from him!” a new voice interrupted Mai’s internal debate over dumping more applesauce over Matsukawa’s head or inviting him to transfer to the Iron Wall. She looked up in time to receive a grape with her cheek, thrown by _Hanamaki Takahiro #3 wing spiker 184.7 cm always has his hands tucked in his shorts but that’s preferable to when they’re spiking the ball past our blockers._

“I said get away, Datekou! Mattsun, talk to me, are you okay?”

“Help...me...”

Mai stands. “He was hit by applesauce. Not even the whole container of applesauce, I think someone flicked a spoon with applesauce on it in his general direction and a little bit of it got on his shoulder.”

Hanamaki raised another grape. “I won’t hesitate.” 

Mai waved her napkin again, backing away from the scene with both hands up as Hanamaki rushed to Matsukawa’s side, cradling his head. She started walking faster once she heard Matsukawa reply to Hanamaki’s “Mattsun, don’t leave me” with “are you...an angel?”

She was almost to the center of the cafeteria when she heard the unmistakable sound of vegetables being dribbled on a tile floor. Mai turned to her left and saw _Kageyama Tobio #9 setter 180.6 cm can find cracks in the Iron Wall so make sure we patch them up_ setting a squash to _Hinata Shouyou #10 middle blocker 162.8 cm no nO NO approach with CAUTION_ as he cackled and spiked vegetables at _Ushijima Wakatoshi #1 wing spiker 189.5 cm there is no wall that can stop him._

“Nope,” Mai said as she pretended not to have seen anything. 

Finally, Mai broke through the food flying over her and smeared under her and saw the arrangement of lunch tables propped up in a circle that signaled she had reached her destination. She took a deep breath and raised her napkin for the final time before stepping into the makeshift bunker.

“Ladies,” she said as she nodded to _Shimizu Kiyoko manager her notebook is filled with more secrets than mine_ and _Hana Misaki manager has saved her captain’s life an estimated 17 times this year alone._ The overall scene was irritatingly familiar, except this time there were two new faces that Mai couldn’t categorize. Judging from the fear in their eyes and lanyards around their necks, they were first-years.

“Hey there,” Mai said softly, not wanting to startle them. The resemblance to baby deer was too strong. “I’m Nametsu Mai, Datekou’s manager. This must be very scary for you.”

Kiyoko noticed her partner’s inability to form sounds that weren’t squeaks and spoke for her. “This is Yachi Hitoka. We just accepted her application for manager. She’s very excited to be here.” Mai had never heard a more unconvincingly delivered sentence, and she had been present when Moniwa told Futakuchi he believed in his skills as a captain. 

“I’m Kuribayashi Runa,” said Johzenji’s newest manager before freezing in terror again. Hana smirked at Kiyoko, clearly proud that her partner at least knew her own name. 

Mai tugged at her own hair and silently acknowledged Johzenji’s superior bang-cutting ability before getting down to business. “Okay, how do we get them to stop this time?” 

Kiyoko and Hana sighed together in a way that made Mai fear reaching their age. After two years spent dreading the annual week-long Miyagi boys’ volleyball training camp that never actually lasted the whole week, she couldn’t imagine what dealing with the clash of decades-long rivalries and overactive teenagers _three times_ felt like. Mai’s favorite daydream to focus on while Futakuchi was delivering an over-dramatic speech involved her giving the six coaches who believed this would “strengthen Miyagi volleyball” a piece of her mind using the clipboards they were so fond of.

“I’m Yachi Hitoka!” said Yachi, whose mouth had apparently caught up with her brain.

“That’s cool. Futakuchi won’t respond to our usual tactics the same way Moniwa did. I don’t think he’s ever felt empathy in his life, so emotional pleas won’t work," she paused to examine the notes Kuribayashi was taking, giving her a nod of approval before continuing on.

"I shouldn’t have to mention that reason won’t work on any team in this room either. Which leaves us with only one weapon,” Mai felt anticipation curling in her gut. She had waited weeks for an opportunity like this.

“Fear,” said Hana and Kiyoko in unison. Mai nodded in excitement as her mind ran through all of Futakuchi’s fears that she could use to her advantage. Responsibility, change, his shorts falling down when he jumps to spike-

“Actually, I have something I’ve been saving for a moment just like this,” Kiyoko said quietly as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. “Yachi, come look at this. You might learn something for next year.”

The managers gathered around Kiyoko’s phone as she pulled up a video of what looked like Karasuno’s race track. 

Mai watched in confusion, then amazement, as Kiyoko and _Tanaka Ryuunosuke #5 wing spiker 177.2 cm trouble this year a nightmare next year_ lined up at the starting line in athletic clothes. Tanaka winked at the camera while Kiyoko only focused on the end of the track. The person filming yelled “go” - and immediately Tanaka was left in the dust as Kiyoko ran out of the frame of the video. Muffled laughter could be heard behind the camera.

Four managers looked at Kiyoko in awe as she said simply, “I did track.”

Mai’s heart was pounding, her head was swirling, and she couldn’t get her mouth to stop grinning. The feeling was unfamiliar, but as soon as she recognized it she understood why Datekou worked on blocking til the sun was down, why Futakuchi acted like he couldn’t be bothered but she had caught him crying in the clubroom after the Interhigh, why the third years were always hovering at the edges of her vision during practice. Why they bled, sweat, and _loved_ volleyball.

_Victory._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on [tumblr](http://kourrais.tumblr.com) for more soft memes


	2. Step 2 - Persuasion (How to Motivate Your Team)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Karasuno pulled the fire alarm,” Mai said numbly as she grasped the back of Kamasaki’s shirt to keep him from rejoining the fight.
> 
> “I’m not even surprised anymore. I would have guessed that they set an actual fire,” Pantalons laughed nervously while the rest of Datekou froze.

“Okay. Fine. This is my final offer - I’ll do Karasuno’s laundry for _two months_ if you send me that video,” Mai said to Kiyoko while grasping her shoulders. Noting the continued lack of interest, Mai hastily added on, “And - today only - I’ll throw in a week of paperwork. Or two weeks! Name your price!”

“I’d make that deal,” Hana commented from the sidelines where she was splitting an apple with Runa that had been only slightly bruised from colliding with Mai’s head earlier, interrupting the flow of a particularly passionate plea and cementing its place as her least favorite fruit. Kiyoko simply shook her head and turned to receive Yachi’s debrief on the state of the food fight as she returned from the recon mission she had _not_ volunteered for. Mai smiled fondly at the memory of her expression when she realized she had drawn the short french fry. 

Yachi saluted as she hopped over the lunch table barricade and took a moment to catch her breath and wipe away her tears before stating, “Resources are running low. Aobajousai’s members were overheard discussing the feasibility of throwing the lunch tables. Karasuno seems to be constructing a catapult using mainly spoons. I recommend immediate action.”

Mai sighed. She didn’t have anything as powerful as Kiyoko’s video to gain back control of her team, and she was used to having Moniwa to back her up. Granted, she would bet her collection of succulents that resembled Koganegawa’s hair that getting Karasuno out of the fight would make escaping the cafeteria much easier, but Futakuchi would need to be convinced to leave and while he may be a lot of things, he wasn’t a quitter.

Hana and Kuribayashi were rising to their feet, ready to stop their team from creating mashed potatoes using the walls of the cafeteria. Mai was jealous - Hana’s team listened to her advice the most out of all the managers. Mai was 59% sure it had to do with her superior bangs. She found herself hanging back as the rest of the managers gathered trays and food to defend themselves. Mai bit her lip, eyes flitting to the empty space on her right where Moniwa usually stood, before she was shaken from her thoughts by a hand grasping her shoulder.

“I’ve seen how you interact with your team during games. They listen to you, and even if they’ve never, ever, _not even once shown it_ , or probably even considered saying thank you despite how many hours you put in, how you wear that yellow tracksuit even though the shade is hideous-” Hana took a deep breath and continued, “I know they appreciate what you do for them.”

“Managers’ jobs are difficult, because we have to understand why our teams want to win, but we also have to remember that volleyball and winning aren’t the only things they should be focused on. We have to remind them about school and their responsibilities and relationships and just- life,” Kiyoko spoke slowly and softly, considering her words before she said them. Both Yachi and Kuribayashi had been furiously scribbling in their notebooks, but stilled to watch Kiyoko speak. 

“That’s why we’re here. For when they forget. And you’re really, really good at reminding them, Mai.” A toaster soared over Kiyoko’s head. Nobody blinked.

“Thanks, girls,” said Mai softly, and then to preserve her carefully crafted reputation as ‘snarky and confident to the point of narcissism, but with a heart of gold,’ she tacked on, “Maybe if you tried paying as much attention to your teams instead of me you could get to Nationals.”

Kiyoko sighed and Hana aggressively ruffled her hair - _darn those impeccable bangs_ \- before Mai waved them off and followed the sound of screaming to find her team.

 _This is going to count as my yearly workout_ , Mai decided as she dodged yet another Johzenji potato - _how have they not run out, are they growing their own potatoes now, are Johzenji volleyball players potato farmers, my god they're self-sustaining_ \- and finally came upon her team’s base. Peering over the lunch table she had taken shelter behind, she registered her expression settling into Moniwa’s default look of dismay and disappointment.

“Down with Shiratorizawa! Now Datekou will rule the prefecture!” Futakuchi cackled as he brandished a baguette like a sword, directing Kamasaki, Sasaya, and Pantalons towards Shiratorizawa’s makeshift base. Mai couldn't tell if Kamasaki's grimace was from following Futakuchi's orders or the uncooked egg sliding down the back of his shirt. In the short 30 minutes the teams had been in the cafeteria, Futakuchi had fashioned a crown out of silverware and paper plates and obtained an actual cape. He seemed to be spinning around to give orders to his three followers more than usual, and Mai saw him repeatedly glance down to admire the swirl of the cape around his ankles. She decided it was time to put an end to this before he actually took over the prefecture.

Mai stood from her position behind the table and cleared her throat.

Futakuchi looked at Mai, baguette still raised over his head. He glanced down to admire his cape once more before resuming eye contact.

“In my defense,” Futakuchi started. Mai raised a hand to silence him. She had heard enough. Steeling herself, she ran through Futakuchi’s list of fears again, composing insults so savage he wouldn’t get more than four hours of sleep a night for years, before hesitating. She was dealing with a new Futakuchi, one who knew he had to be accountable for his team’s actions, but sometimes forgot. She had been transformed by her responsibilities as manager. Maybe Futakuchi had learned something as his team’s leader.

“I don’t think that’s how bread was intended to be used, _captain_ ,” Mai commented. A change came over Futakuchi at the reminder that he was in charge of his team’s well-being (and possibly at the reminder that he had to answer to the coaches about the mess). He raked his eyes over the cafeteria battleground to see Obara take a Johzenji potato to the chest for Sakunami, collapsing on the ground where Koganegawa had stayed down and was scrolling through his phone. Pantalons shrieked behind them as Kamasaki and Sasaya raised him above their shoulders with the intention of firing yams into Shiratorizawa’s base, a plan that Pantalons seemed unaware of as he yelled and tugged on Kamasaki’s hair.

“Fine,” he chuckled quietly. “You got me.” He turned to Sasaya and Kamasaki, hands on his hips. 

“Put my favorite pair of pants down,” he ordered.

“Hey, come on man, we were just about to hit that first year with the weird bangs-”

“Do you even _remember_ my real name, Futakuchi-”

“If you ever speak to me in any tone above ‘mild suggestion’ again, I’ll shove that baguette up-”

Mai aggressively cleared her throat.

Pantalons shrieked again as he suddenly found himself on the ground. Futakuchi cackled and slung his arms around Pantalons and Mai’s shoulders - only for all three to suddenly be drenched in water. The sound of an alarm pierced their ears, but it was preferable to the cheering coming from Karasuno’s base. 

“Karasuno pulled the fire alarm,” Mai said numbly as she grasped the back of Kamasaki’s shirt to keep him from rejoining the fight.

“I’m not even surprised anymore. I would have guessed that they set an actual fire,” Pantalons laughed nervously while the rest of Datekou froze. 

“Suddenly I miss the comfort of the bus,” said Sasaya. They started walking casually but swiftly to the exit, because while the school may burn down, none of the survivors would be able to call the Iron Wall cowards.

“Crows are the rats of the sky,” Futakuchi muttered.

“Seagulls that need a bath,” Mai snickered.

“The first draft of vultures that evolution gave up on.”

“The Edgar Allan Poe poem no one talks about.”

“Good one.”

The sound of cheering from Karasuno cut off at the same time potatoes stopped flying across the cafeteria. Mai grinned at yet another victory for the managers. That brought the current tally up to managers 54, volleyball teams 0. Mai pulled Obara and Koganegawa to their feet while Futakuchi awkwardly pat a shaking Sakunami on the head.

“I’m traumatized,” Sakunami said.

“Same,” replied Futakuchi, eyeing Karasuno and Johzenji as they approached, lead by their respective managers. Mai held in her laughter at the openly fearful expression of Tanaka. Kiyoko would never have to pay for her own food again.

The three teams pushed their way through the door of the cafeteria into the hallway, dripping food and water onto the floors. Mai did a quick headcount before saying a silent prayer and turning to Futakuchi.

“Where’s Aone.” She didn’t have the patience left to make her sentences sound like questions.

Futakuchi whirled around to jab a finger in Karasuno’s direction. “You glorified pigeons, what have you done with my middle blocker?”

Karasuno appeared ready to deny their involvement, but when Mai and Kiyoko turned in unison, glares ready, followed by Yachi with a much less intimidating expression on her face, they blanched and shuffled to the side to reveal where Aone had been crouched behind Hinata. Mai refused to question how that was possible, reminding herself that if she stays quiet she can go home.

“Aone. Aone, my poor, eyebrowless middle blocker, what did those discount ravens do to you?” Futakuchi raised trembling hands to grasp Aone’s shoulders while shooting a dirty look at the entirety of Karasuno.

“Shouyou was going to show me his new game so I wanted to go with them,” Aone said. Futakuchi released him immediately and pulled hand sanitizer out of his pocket while muttering about mutiny and traitors.

“Everyone should get cleaned up first,” said Hana in a rush, apparently also sensing the approaching onslaught of challenges to video game battles. Mai shoved Aone’s arms down when she noticed he had started to point at the aces of Johzenji and Karasuno. 

As the teams began to split up and shuffle in the respective directions of their rooms, Mai looked back at the carnage they were leaving behind. Chants of “Shiiii-ratori-zawa” were being lead by _Tendou Satori #5 middle blocker 187.7 cm with him on the Iron Wall we’d be unstoppable_ as the team rallied for a final push against Aobajousai and Wakutani South. Matsukawa had miraculously revived and joined his team in nominating their ace _Iwaizumi Hajime #4 wing spiker 179.3 cm strong enough to break the Iron Wall_ to be their sole representative to take both opposing teams down.

“Those teams really need to start accepting manager applications,” Kiyoko said, shooting a small smile in Mai’s direction while leading Yachi and her team to the showers. Hana and Runa waved their goodbyes as they worked together to push their team forward in a way that seemed to be instinctual.

Mai watched them go and laughed quietly to herself. “Like we want Aobajousai and Shiratorizawa to get any stronger,” she said before clapping her hands to get her team’s attention. They looked to her, wiping food from their eyes to see. 

“Alright! Follow me and I’ll get you where you need to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Nametsu Mai:** makes one (1) joke
> 
>  **me:** Writes 3K Words In Which Her Entire Personality Is Sarcasm
> 
> i don’t have a koganegawa succulent yet but i do have a kindaichi and kunimi pair (UPDATE: kunimi died. kindaichi is okay tho) 
> 
> [tumblr](http://kourrais.tumblr.com) // [twitter](https://twitter.com/ennvshita)


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